book thoughts: Like A Bird by Fariha Róisín
“But slowly, through the work of showing up for myself, in the smallest of ways, the pink membranes of my heart were starting to understand that I could fail without being a failure. That was it. When you accept that you’re a real life human—a squishy, mortal, and malleable being of sorts—you begin to accept your mistakes. You accept that your life cannot ever be fixed, not like a fast-tongued solvable riddle. Instead, you must become intrigued by the messiness, the nuances and the in-between bits of yourself and your life, to survive. You have to accept change. At one point, you have to surrender.”
Trigger Warning (TW): self harm, rape/SA, death, suicide, and misogyny
When you find a book that unexpectedly heals you, that becomes a confidant in the tumultuousness that is your life and the world around you, hold onto it with all of your strength. In this context, the book in question is Like A Bird by writer, editor, and multidisciplinary artist Fariha Róisín. This book was released a year ago through Unnamed Press (indie presses stand up!) and it centers Taylia Chatterjee as she deals with loss, familial turmoil, and a big shift in her life that leads her to a journey filled with realizations, growth, and a fostering of a community she calls her own. I found out about this book after following Róisín and her work for a while and being a subscriber to her newsletter How to Cure A Ghost, which has been such a joy to read. Getting a glimpse into her process, how she sees the world and takes it in, and bits of what went into writing this novel added a layer of intimacy to the act of reading it that I don’t think I’ve had prior, at least in a long while.
reading Like A Bird at the Philadelphia Internaitonal Airport.
I could tell that so much love, so much of the author went into writing this novel. It’s mentioned in this profile for the New York Times that it took 18 years for her to write Like A Bird and that there were a bunch of changes made to the original draft as time passed. It’s such a significant amount of time and so much can change within it that I can imagine that Róisín realized so much in that time from when she started writing the book at 12 years old that it seems like she wanted to make sure that it grew and evolved in alignment with her and her healing journey after experiencing sexual violence. There’s so much warmth interwoven, along with honest internal dialogue that gave such intimate insight into the events Taylia was going through and how they affected her. It displayed the significance of community, of found family, of self-love and discovering one’s self, especially after trauma. The act of surviving trauma like sexual assault and continuing on with life afterward is talked about in the novel and it created a figurative space for me to reflect on the task of existing as a woman of color in a society that has and continues to be violent towards us, that doesn’t take into account that we have to constantly fear for our own well-being—preventing us from doing even a simple task like walking outside—because of the forces that want to tear us to pieces. Fear envelopes us but doesn’t have to conquer us, and I'm reminded of this through Róisín’s words and the emotional growth throughout.
In a video on Unnamed Press’ Youtube Channel, Róisín gives an introduction to her novel and mentions that she hopes her novel can be a toolkit:
“It's, I think, a story that will really, hopefully, help people to heal because I do believe that it’s a toolkit, and I feel that the best kind of writing is a toolkit.”
holding Like A Bird moments after I finished reading it at close to 3am.
I’ve been reflecting on different strenuous events and traumas I’ve experienced both years ago and within the last year and a half and with that comes *self-reflection* and *introspection*, two lovely practices that I credit for the person I’ve become (so far). Taylia’s story, its ebbs, flows, and all the aspects in between, became a source of healing for me in the midst of this through moments where I had to put the book down and lay on the floor because I felt so seen that the heaviness of said seen-ness had me on the floor. I was also lovingly dragged in many instances, so there was definitely (petty) diving timing in reading this book at the time I did. Reading this gift of a novel felt like having a deep and really open conversation with a close friend over early afternoon coffee about shame, growth, human existence, and loss.
This is a powerful, emotional, and necessary novel. For those that are looking for something that acts as a mirror, a place of solace, I implore you to consider Like A Bird as this.
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A New, New Start (Again)
Hey.
It’s been a while. Let’s do this for real this time.
So there’s been some big shifts happening, both internal and external. The world is on fire and there’s a global pandemic that isn’t letting up, but you already knew that. Because of this and because the time that we all have here is limited, I took the significant and terrifying leap and quit my 9-5 day job. It’s honestly the best decision I’ve made for my own mental health.
For some background, I’ve worked since I was 18. After I graduated college in 2014/15, I started an internship at a small, Philly-based music website where I worked for two years. I then started doing freelance writing on the side in addition to working a day job. My last two day jobs were office jobs with benefits and everything, but there have been some personal events that have caused me to do some serious introspection into what I actually want to spend my time doing and what I’m capable of doing with my time that’ll not only bring me joy, but will also broaden my skill set and allow me to earn a decent income. [some questions that came up during introspection]
Now I‘m a full-time freelance writer, which is really damn sick and also really damn terrifying. I’m on my second week of this and there’s so many kinks I have to work out, but I finally have the time and energy to do ALL THE CREATIVE THINGS, which includes being intentional with the platform that I have and creating a space —the space being this blog—to share more aspects about my process, share wisdom on lessons I’ve learned being a professional writer for a few years now, and what goes on in this weird brain, among other things.
process/behind the scenes
I love seeing into the process behind how things are created, particularly written work, so I want to do that here with my own work and give a glimpse into a few aspects of writing an editorial piece, from ideation to publication. This will include the interviews I’ve done for Bitch Media, some essays I’ve written for Electric Literature, and others.
in-depth book thoughts
For those who haven’t checked it out, I have an Instagram account under @winestainedreader where I post all things literature, including thoughts on books I’ve read. There are times, though, where I want to discuss a work more deeply, especially books I’ve read that really resonate with me. Knowing how weird the Instagram algorithm is and knowing that not everyone likes a super long caption, I plan on making posts here in this space with my thoughts on literature that resonates with me. This could be book thoughts on single works, poetry analysis, or individual posts dedicated to authors and writers that I deeply connect with, including Fariha Róisín, Larissa Pham, Kali Fajardo-Anstine, and others.
self-reflections, introspections, and cool shit
AKA things I can’t stop thinking about, articles/essays/poems I found online that I love, news/pop culture that I love/loathe/can’t seem to wrap my head around, moments of unlearning or learning, advice on life, etc. This will basically be where I share the introspective/self-growth tidbits with a side of words I’m obsessed with at the moment.
advice on freelance writing
I have learned so much in my writing career so far (and I still feel like it’s only the beginning), so I want to share the things I’ve learned because we don’t gatekeep in this space. These posts will contain advice and tips I’ve learned so far that I wish I had known when I started freelance writing.
???
Life is wild and unexpected things can happen, so there can easily be posts that aren’t under a category. Surprises possibly abundant.
I hope to create a space that holds joy, enlightenment, insight, and community, so please feel free to either leave a comment below or hop into my contact page and send a note with any questions or suggestions for things you want me to cover that could be valuable.
I’m super jazzed about this and I hope you are too, especially if you made it this far.
All my love,
